BACKGROUND:
Love is not rude. This refers to actions that are improper, impolite, discourteous, or crude. Believers who use their gifts with love will be careful to act in a manner worthy of their calling before God. They will never humiliate others.
Love does not demand its own way. Love looks out for others, seeks their best interests, willingly gives up its own for the sake of another. A person who wants his own way may use his gifts but not with a serving attitude or a desire to build the Kingdom. Instead, the gifts are only used if they can somehow benefit the self-seeking person. This is not God’s way. Instead, because of love, the believers use their gifts to benefit others first, without “self” or selfish desires getting in the way.
Love is not irritable, meaning easily angered or touchy. Such people let things get on their nerves. One believer, in the process of exercising his or her gifts, may irritate another believer. These “easily angered” believers may not like the style or manner in which these others exercise their gifts. This is not the way of love. When believers exercise their gifts in love, they will be able to give one another some latitude to follow God as they see fit. They will not let themselves be easily provoked over disagreements, but they will be able to always respond in a loving manner.
Love keeps no record of when it has been wronged. Such people will remember every offense against them as though it were written in a book and tallied. These “wrongs” are not sins that need to be dealt with in the congregation but minor offenses or misunderstandings between believers. Those who keep record of these wrongs and personal injuries will harbor resentment against other believers. Love, however, makes allowances for people’s foibles and flaws and willingly forgets when wrongs were done. This frees all believers to grow and mature in Christ and to grow in their ability to serve and use their gifts. When mistakes are made, love overlooks them and allows believers to continue to serve with the gifts God has given them. God does not keep a record of believers’ wrongs.
SO WHAT? (what will I do with what I have read today?)
Love means you treat other people respectfully. This idea of respect is talked about a lot in the Bible. In Deuteronomy 28 and Leviticus 19, it tells us to show respect to those who are elderly. In 1 Samuel 2, a preacher’s sons were called scoundrels because they showed no respect for the Lord. In Ephesians 5 and 6, husbands and wives were taught to respect each other, and slaves and masters were told to have mutual respect as well. In that same passage, children are told to honor and respect their parents.
This is a big deal to God. If you’re like me though, respect is one of those topics we talk about and it’s a word we use a lot, but have you ever given much thought to what the word “respect” really means? I can remember as a little boy my mom saying, “That was disrespectful.” Or “You need to show respect in this situation.” But I never had anybody to define that for me.
Let me do that for you this morning - Respect is showing value and honor to others by our actions. When we dishonor or devalue a person, we disrespect them. We disregard them. But to respect someone is to show value and honor.
Maybe you could think of it like this - every person that you’ve ever met has around his or her neck an invisible sign. If you look carefully enough, you can almost see it. It’s a sign that says, “Do I matter to you?” It’s a sign that says, “Do I have any worth at all in your estimation? Do you in any way honor or esteem who I am?”
Want to know if you honor/respect people? Ask yourself this question - Do people feel better or worse after they’ve been with you? Do people feel inspired, valued, respected when they are with you? Or do they feel worse, diminished, unappreciated? I find there’s some people I feel replenished by and other people I feel very diminished by.
You need to know this – you need to get this - Jesus Christ was absolutely the best in showing honor and love to other people. He was amazing at this. People just felt valued when they were in His presence. He did it by the things that He would do for them and with them and the words He would speak into their lives. By His actions, He showed respect for other people.
Let’s look at one of my favorite stories in the Bible. It’s found in Luke 7. It’s a slice of life right from the ministry of Christ. Luke 7:36-48. In this story we find what I mentioned a few moments ago – those invisible signs. We find in this story what I like to call three signs of respect. They’re hanging around the neck of every person you will ever see in your life or have ever seen. Just to help you remember what they are, I’ve got a few signs I’d like to show you through the course of the teaching this morning.
This first sign is hanging around everybody neck that you will ever meet.
SIGN #1: THE STOP SIGN – This Means You Stop Talking and Listen
I look at this story and it occurs to me what a wonderful listener Jesus was. He especially listened to this woman. And you can read the story and see that He listened to Simon the Pharisee, too. As a matter of fact, He listened so well to Simon the Pharisee, the Bible says that He read his thoughts. This was the Son of God, and He was paying good attention to even what Simon was thinking. But He especially listened to this woman.
You look at this story, and it could confuse you. You say, “As far as I can tell this woman never spoke.” You’re right. She never utters a word. Not even one. But Jesus listened to her. Wouldn’t you agree with me that this woman was saying something to Jesus? Wouldn’t you agree with me that listening goes way beyond just hearing the words that another person says? It’s seeing what’s in their eyes. It’s feeling what’s in their heart.
It’s reading between the lines. It’s listening in the moments of silence. This woman was speaking. She was speaking loudly in her tears and in her service to Christ and in the washing of His feet and the kissing of His feet. She had a message, and Jesus, it seems, was the only one who heard it. He was the only one listening to her.
Some time later in the Bible, the Apostle Paul was writing to Christians at the church in Corinth. He congratulated them on something. Paul’s friend Titus had visited those Christians some time earlier. Apparently he had a great experience. Paul wrote to the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians 7:15, “Titus remembers the way you listened to him and welcomed him with such respect and deep concern.” Why did Titus feel respected? Because they welcomed him and because of the way they listened to him.
Let me ask you, are you a good listener? Would people around you say you really are a good listener? Do people feel like you’re fully present with them whenever they’re with you? Or is there anybody in your world who might just be whispering under their breath, “Would you please stop talking? Would you please stop advising? Stop rambling. Stop pontificating. Stop hyping! Stop hogging the verbal spotlight. Would you just stop and listen?”
John Ortberg in his Teaching on Relational Intelligence tells a great story. He says, “Years ago my parents and I were stuck in a room with a mom and her 8-year-old son as we each waited for a family member to show up on family day at college. For one hour, this woman did not stop talking. She made Don King look like an introvert. And it’s not because we weren’t sending her signals because we were. Nobody would make eye contact with her. We were afraid that might encourage her. Nobody was nodding at her. Our bodies were facing the other direction. She could not stop talking. It was if she had taken some powerful verbal laxative. Her words were out of control. Finally after an hour of this her daughter came up stairs and into the room. The woman stood up and said, “Gotta go,’ but she kept on talking the whole way out the door. ‘I’ve got so many things to do,’ she told us who didn’t care at all. ‘I’ve got errands to run, I’ve got dinners to fix, I’ve got to pick up your dad. And oh, yes, I’ve got to get some buttons.’ Then her 8-year-old son spoke, the only words he’d said the whole hour. He looked at his mother and said, ‘Mother, you need a button for your mouth.’ We all felt this was the prompting of the Holy Spirit in the life of that little boy.”
Let me give you an idea. Why don’t you get a button and put it in your pocket with your change or put it in your change purse. And every time you reach for change and you feel that button maybe it could be a subtle reminder, “Stop talking for a minute and value and honor what someone else has to say.”
SIGN #2: NO U-TURN SIGN - It Means You Keep Your Promises
You tell people you’re going to do such and so, and they really want to believe you. She said this, so that’s the direction she’s going. But before you know it you have turned the wheel and squealed the tire and you’re going in an opposite direction from the commitment that you made to those people around you.
If you look at this encounter between Jesus and the woman you will find a remarkable promise being made. He said, “Your sins are forgiven,” and Jesus keeps all His promises. Have you ever had someone break a promise to you? They told you they were going to do something that was very important, and they didn’t do it. Did that make you feel honored and respected, or did it make you feel discounted and disrespected?
Proverbs 25:14 says, “People who promise things that they never give are like clouds and wind that bring no rain.” Could Jesus have been any clearer when He declared in Matthew 5:37, “Just let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no.’ ” Keep your word.
I think most of the time when we break our promises, we break them because we made those promises hastily. We didn’t think about our schedule or the schedule of others. We didn’t consider what might or might not happen. We just made a rash commitment, and because we didn’t plan ahead, we end up breaking promise after promise. The Bible talks about that in Proverbs 3: “Good planning and insight fill you with life and they bring you honor and respect.” Plan ahead, think ahead, so you won’t give your word hastily and then break your word thoughtlessly.
God models this idea for us because He keeps all of His promises. Every promise He’s ever made, He’s kept. All the way through the Bible. Start way back in the book of Genesis, the first book of the Bible. Noah, he made a promise and kept a promise - Keep turning pages in the Bible. God comes to 99-year-old Abraham and 89-year-old Sarah, and He promised that they would have a baby. Made a promise – kept a promise.
God promised that He would send a Savior who’d forgive us of our sins and be our friend and comfort and teach and lead us. And He sent His Son, Jesus. Promise made – promise kept. When Jesus came, He made a promise that God would love us and would forgive us and would one day welcome us into heaven if we trusted Him. Promise made – promise kept. Folks, you and I show value and honor to others when we keep our promises to them.
The third sign you see around the neck …SIGN #3:THE YEILD SIGN - It basically means yield your rights and serve.
This story in Luke 7 about this woman and Jesus is so tender, and it’s a picture of her service to the Lord. Without a word, without mention of the value of her deed, without thinking of the expense or the shame or the work or the demeaning nature of what she was doing, she just came to the feet of God’s Son and she served Him.
Have you ever had anybody in your life who has served you, with no thought to their own needs or desires? Or have you ever served someone like that? Paul wrote these words in 2 Corinthians 12:15 – it says “So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well.” Isn’t that a beautiful verse? That’s what yielding and serving is all about. Do you serve anyone like that?
I am so blessed – so fortunate - I get to see a servant’s heart up-close and personal almost every day of my life in my wife, Sharon. She is such a servant. She’s quite amazing. Probably the most amazing thing of all about Sharon is she’s not a scorekeeper.
Folks, serving is not scorekeeping. Our culture says, “I do for you, now you owe so many acts of service back to me.” “I did this, now it’s your turn to do that.” We get into this tit for tat, back and forth scorekeeping. I’ve seen so many shallow friendships, so many shallow marriages built on that kind of selfishness. That kind of serving is not yielding, it’s not serving.
What does yielding and serving look like? Service is when we do our very best for others. When we do a deed of kindness, not with reluctance, that’s not really service. Not with an ambivalence, that’s not service. Serving others is when we do our best for others.
That’s why I like the word “expensive” in this story when it talks of the perfume. This woman didn’t come with a that-will-do attitude. She didn’t just “get by.” She probably had cheaper perfume. But she wanted to do for the Son of God her very best. Jesus said it’s rare perfume – rare, expensive perfume. She wanted to offer her best. This is one way we do show honor and respect for God.
Malachi 1:6 says, “The Lord Almighty says, ‘I am your Father and Master. But where are the honor and the respect that I deserve? You have despised My name.’” “ ‘How have we despised Your name?’ and God says “You’ve despised My name by offering defiled sacrifices.’ And the people said, ‘How have we done that?’” And God says, “Here’s an example. Instead of finding the best lamb from your flock and offering that as a sacrifice, you’re bringing Me lambs that are crippled and blind and sick. It’s like you’re going out into your field and you find a little feeble lamb leaning against the fence about to die. You figure he’s not going to make it anyway and that’s the guy you bring to Me.” And God says, “If that’s the way you’re going to worship Me, don’t bother.”
Who do you need to start showing respect too today? I love you guys. Stay faithful. Stay the course.
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