1 John 4:7 says, “Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God.” The truth is, if we don’t have the goal to love other people, we’ll tend to write them off. Maybe ignore them, dismiss them, forget them, turn our backs on them. So the goal is love. Today, we need to discover how to love people, even in the difficult circumstances. So, the goal is love. Loving all the people God has placed in my life – even the toxic ones.
Since we’re talking about toxic people it’s important to define this. How do you recognize a toxic family member? Definition: toxic is when two people are stuck in a way of relating that is poisoning them both. They just can’t seem to move on. They can’t seem to move past hurt. They hurt each other and they are destructive to each other.
What talk about handling toxic family members? Because, you can maybe ignore them through the year, but as you gather at Christmas and the New Year, they are right in front of you. You can’t put this off anymore. This year, this Christmas - this New Year, as you prepare to worship Jesus, as you get ready for Christmas, together, let’s learn how to handle, in a righteous way, those toxic family members.
You say Pastor – where do we start? We start with prayer. Specifically, four prayers that will help us with toxic people. These are four prayers that I have been praying for the past several years in my life. God is using these prayers to help me. He will use them to help you.
Prayer number one: Father, strengthen me to accept my limitations.
You wouldn’t have to be concerned about toxic people if you were superman or superwoman. But you’re not. You’re not indestructible. You’re just a human being. We all are. Those of you who are believers in Jesus Christ and many of us are, this is an especially difficult thing in our life. A lot of people think, I’m a Christian. I can handle anything. Well, the truth is, you can’t.
You’ve got your limitations. Accept what God says about who you are. He knows us better than anybody. I love the picture in 2 Corinthians 4:7 about who we really are. “We are like clay jars in which this treasure is stored. The real power comes from God and not from us.”
You say, CLAY JARS? That’s all I am? A clay jar? You know the truth about clay jars? They’re easily broken. That’s what we are. There’s great freedom in accepting who you are. Not trying to be the lord of the universe, something that you’re not. Just accepting “I’m a clay jar. I can’t tell you the freedom in accepting that. You accept your limitations. You accept God’s picture of you – a clay jar.
Some clay jars have more in them and some have less. But they’re still just a clay jar. Some clay jars are painted on the outside, some are plain. Still it’s just a clay jar. Some are larger, some are smaller, some are skinnier, some are wider. But you’re still just a clay jar.
God honors us by telling us who we are. We’re clay jars and that means we all have limitations. I am not God. I’m a clay jar. I have limitations, and so do you. You say what limitations do we have? We can’t change other people. We can’t make other people do the right thing. We can not make other people get healthy. Limitations. And the truth is, not only do we have limitations, we also have weaknesses – don’t we? We’ve got to recognize that about ourselves.
Paul, one of the greatest Christians whoever lived, he didn’t mind admitting the fact that he had weaknesses. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “God told me ‘My grace is enough: It’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.’ Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and I began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer,. these limitations have cut me down to size- abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over. So the weaker I get, the stronger I become.”
I’m a clay jar, I have limitations and I have weaknesses. Folks, there is incredible freedom in admitting that and accepting that.
Some of you, right now, maybe you’re in a toxic situation. The same pattern keeps repeating itself again and again and again. You feel hopeless to change the situation. That’s the starting place - accepting my limitations. Let God do what He can do, let others do what they can do, and let me do what God’s given me to do. But not try to be all things for all people. I’m not God. I have weaknesses. I accept my limitations. God work in me in spite of my limitations and weaknesses.
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