BACKGROUND:
In keeping with the theme of Proverbs, this woman is praised for her wisdom and faithful instruction. The instruction probably refers to her teaching her children and her servant girls of her household.
This Proverbs 31 woman is involved in management (she watches over... affairs of her household). Yet she is also directly involved in various activities as a housewife. She is not idle with her time, her talents or her tongue.
SO WHAT? (what will I do with what i have read today?)
James 3:2 says, "We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check."
WHY MUST I WATCH WHAT I SAY?
"Why must I do that? It's only words; I'm just kidding." “Words are significant”, says James. Three reasons we have to learn to manage our mouth.
#1. MY TONGUE DIRECTS WHERE I GO
It has tremendous influence and control over my life. Where are you headed in life? Where are you going to be ten years from now? Look at your conversation. What do you like to talk about? What do you talk about the most? We shape our words and then our words shape us. James says, “The tongue is small, it's tiny”. And because it's tiny we think it's insignificant. But it has tremendous power.
Consider a bit in a horse's mouth. You've got a huge stallion, 2,000-3,000 pounds, and a 95 pound jockey on his back. The jockey can control the tremendous mighty horse by a little piece of metal stuck strategically over his tongue. Likewise your tongue controls the direction of your life wherever you want to go, and a little bit of a word or a phrase can influence the total direction of your life.
#2. MY TONGUE CAN DESTROY WHAT I HAVE
James gives another illustration. Imagine a beautiful forest -- tall beautiful trees everywhere. Now imagine it in one minute up in smoke, completely destroyed instantly with a little tiny match. It only takes a spark to get a fire going. In 1983 in Australia, one fire overnight destroyed 600 miles of land, villages, livestock. All from a single match. James says that your tongue can destroy like that. You can lose it all.
A careless camper can destroy an entire national forest overnight. A careless word can destroy a life overnight. Thousands of lives. Gossip is like fire. It spreads quickly and it wrecks havoc. I wonder how many people because of a careless word have destroyed their marriage, or their career, or their reputation, or the reputation of another, or their church, or a friendship. The tongue not only has the power to direct where you go but also to destroy what you have if you don't learn to control it. It's like a fire.
Have you ever met a verbal arsonist? Their words are always inflammatory. Senator Joseph McCarthy was a verbal arsonist. He spoke and he destroyed lives everywhere he went. James says that words, like a fire, can burn people. Why do you think they call it "Dean Martin's Celebrity Roast"? Because you can burn people with what you say. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." It does hurt. Fire and words under control can give tremendous warmth and light, but fire and words out of control can be devastating. It can destroy miles and miles of homes and lands and peoples.
Proverbs 18:20 says, "You have to live with the consequences of everything you say."
James 3;6 says, "... it (the tongue) sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." He's saying here that words can create a chain reaction. You can say something that you didn't mean to have any harm, but it can have devastating effects that are beyond your control.
#3. MY TONGUE DISPLAYS WHO I AM
My tongue reveals my real character. It tells what's really inside of me. James points out how inconsistent we are in our speech. v. 9 "The tongue we praise our Lord and Father and with the same tongue we curse men who've been made in God's likeness. From the same mouth come praise and cursings. My brothers, this should not be."
We say these things out of the same mouth. We come to church on Sunday. The highest use of your mouth is to use it praising God. We sing praises to the Lord. Then we walk out, get into the car and on the way home we argue about where we're going to eat lunch. Isn't it amazing how quickly your attitude can change? In one minute you're saying, "Praise the Lord", the next you're saying, "Shut up!" The tongue is a strange contradiction. It's so inconsistent. It's amazing how quickly it can change, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute we're praising God and the next we're cursing other people. Cursing here doesn't necessarily mean profanity. It means any kind of put down, label. ["You good for nothing... You'll never amount to nothing ... You're just like ..."] Any kind of put down is a curse. He says, “Why curse men? They're made in God's image.”
We speak lovingly in one breath and then lash out in the next. What gives? What's the problem? Why do we do that? Why can we genuinely mean something in love and kindness one minute and then genuinely mean something in hate the next minute?
James gives the answer in v. 11-12. He says consider the source. "Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."
The point is, whatever is in the well comes out in the water. Whatever is in the tree, comes out in the fruit. What is the likelihood of an apple tree producing cherries? Zip! My problem is not really my tongue. My problem is my heart. What's inside is what comes out. My mouth eventually betrays what is really on the inside of me. I can fool you and pretend but eventually my tongue is going to catch me. It's going to let you know what's really inside.
Consider these things today. I love you guys. Stay faithful. Stay the course.
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