Day #176: James 3:13-16

BACKGROUND:

The wise person demonstrates his or her understanding of Christ by the way he or she lives. Our works show where our hearts are invested (Matthew 6:19-21, 33). Do our attitudes and motives match our actions? While we may not claim to be wise, we can aim at living in wise ways—a life of steady goodness. The guidance given to us in God’s word is dependable wisdom. But as we seek to do good deeds, we must watch out for pride.

Pride is having an attitude of self-importance about the talents and abilities that God has given us and using them to set ourselves up as superior or to be divisive in our relationships with others. Wisdom, then, involves both actions and attitudes in living. A wise life will display not only goodness, but also humility.

Being bitterly jealous is misguided zeal that results in contentiousness. It is anger at the accomplishments of others. Whenever we find fault with a leader, we must ask ourselves what is motivating us to feel strongly about that person’s failure. Do we actually share the same weakness? Do we imagine ourselves doing better in that role? Or are we, in fact, simply envious of the abilities or success God has allowed him or her to have? A positive answer to any of these ought to make us very careful in how we express our criticisms.

Selfish ambition is the desire to live for one’s self and no one or nothing else, only for what a person can get out of it. In an attempt to persuade others, the person may lose his sense of reason and become fanatical. Having confidence in only his knowledge, he arrogantly lords it over others. Such a person should not brag about being wise for that is the worst kind of lie.

The source and standards of this kind of wisdom are from the world and not God. Its teachers are self-centered and shallow. This wisdom doesn’t come from faith—it is earthly and unspiritual. The term for unspiritual is used in the New Testament for the person who does not have God’s Spirit or does not accept the guidance that comes from the Spirit of God (1 Corinthians 2:14).

This person teaches only the wisdom of this life, based on human feelings and human reasoning alone. The real source of these thoughts is the Devil whose purposes are always destructive; they can produce a climate in the church, at home, and at work that damages relationships. Think of how quickly our words, language, and tone of voice can create a destructive climate.

SO WHAT? (what will I do with what I have read today?)

Every day you encounter many different kinds of people. Some are very delightful. Some are very difficult. Some of them are inspiring. Some of them are irritating, fascinating, intimidating. The fact is, a lot of the problems we have in life are because of personality conflicts. We need to learn how to be wise in the way we act toward people. James, in this passage, defines real wisdom for us. Wise up and clue into this foundational passage.

The first thing he says in v. 13, is that wisdom is a lifestyle. It has nothing to do with your intelligence. It has everything to do with your relationships and your character. "Who is wise and understanding among you. Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom."

It's not a matter of what you say with your lips but a matter of what you live with your life. Not a matter of your words but of your works. Not so much the diplomas on the wall, but your disposition that really shows how wise you are. How do you get along with other people? That shows how wise you really are. Wisdom is a lifestyle. Wisdom has more to do with character in relationships than it has to do with education and intelligence. Wisdom creates humility. Knowledge causes pride, but wisdom causes humility.

Lack of wisdom causes all kinds of disorder and problems, chaos and confusion. James gives us four principles to live wisely.

#1. I'M WISE I WILL NOT COMPROMISE MY INTEGRITY.

"The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure..." Pure means uncorrupted, authentic. In 1 John 3:3 this word is used to refer to Christ's character. Integrity. If I'm really genuine, if I'm wise, I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not going to cheat you, I'm not going to manipulate you, I'm not going to be deceitful. I'll be a person of integrity. Because all relationships are built on trust and respect. If you don't have honesty who's going to trust you? If you don't have honesty who's going to respect you? You have to have integrity in your life.

Proverbs 10:9 says, "The man of integrity walks securely." He's not afraid of being found out because he doesn't say one thing to one group and something else to another group. Someone said, "No man has a good enough memory to be an habitual liar." Eventually you're going to slip up. If you've got integrity you've got confidence, you walk securely in your relationships. You know you're not putting people on. If I am wise I will not compromise my integrity.

#2. IF I AM WISE I WILL NOT ANTAGONIZE YOUR ANGER.

Wise people work at maintaining harmony. They're not always looking for a fight. "Wisdom is peace loving." Have you ever met someone who is always arguing, always looking for a fight? Proverbs 20:3 says, "Any fool can start arguments. The wise thing is to stay out of them." What causes arguments? Do you know? If you're wise you know because then you can avoid them. Three things that cause arguments. If you're wise you'll avoid these:

1. Comparing. "You're just like ...", "Why can't you be like ...", "When I was your age..." You're asking for a fight. "My first husband..." 2 Corinthians 10:12 says it's unwise to compare.

2. Condemning. "It's all your fault", "You should be ashamed." You lay on the guilt. "You always", "You never", "You ought to", "You should...", "You shouldn't..." Someone said, "You can bury a marriage with a lot of little digs."

3. Contradicting. How do you like to be interrupted in the middle of a sentence? It's irritating. James says, “If you are wise you don't sweat the small stuff.” William James says, "The secret of wisdom is knowing what to overlook." Some things are just not worth the fight. Wisdom is peace loving.

If I'm smart, if I'm wise in relationships, I won't compromise my integrity and I won't antagonize your anger. Proverbs 14:29 says, "A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes." How many of you have ever done something stupid in anger? Anger causes mistakes.

#3. I WON'T MINIMIZE YOUR FEELINGS.

"Wisdom is considerate" and "considerate" means "mindful of the feelings of others". There is a common mistake that if I don't feel the way you feel then your feelings must be invalid or illogical or irrational or silly. James says, “Wise people are considerate; they don't minimize other people's feelings.” If I'm wise I will not minimize your feelings. I don't have to accept them but I can understand them. Proverbs 15:4 says, "Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit." Typically when we react to people's emotions we say things that hurt. Often we belittle the feeling. We put people down, or we play psychologist. "I know why you feel that way..." We're condescending toward people. James says if I'm wise in relationships I will not minimize your feelings. I'll be considerate.

#4. IF I'M WISE I WON'T EMPHASIZE YOUR MISTAKES.

"Wisdom is full of mercy and good fruit." Do you jump on people every time they blunder, every time they make a fault and fumble it? Do you always use everybody in your family as the butt of your joke. That's dumb. Wisdom is full of mercy. I won't emphasize your mistakes. Do you ever let people go, or do you keep hounding them about their past mistakes? Do you hold them in leverage, and they never can be set free even if they have asked forgiveness? "Remember the time you did..." You're always holding on and bringing up the past for leverage. That's dumb. If I'm wise, I won't emphasize your mistake. I'll be full of mercy. I'll give you what you need, not what you deserve.

How wise are you? Where do you need wisdom? Do you need wisdom in your marriage? Do you need wisdom with your kids? Do you need wisdom at work? How to relate to people? That cantankerous person who just ticks you off... a secretary... a boss... an associate -- you don't get along with them at all. Where do you get that kind of wisdom"? It's all wrapped up in Jesus Christ. The first step is to invite Him into your life. Wisdom begins with knowing God.

Psalm 111:10 says, "Reverence for the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." It starts with salvation. Ask Him into your life. Then day-by-day you continually ask Him for wisdom and fellowship with other Christians. The Bible says, as iron sharpens iron, a wise friend sharpens anther friend. A man is wise by the company he keeps. Read God's word. All God's word has wisdom. The more you read God's word, the wiser you'll be.

I love you guys. Stay faithful. Stay the course.