Relationship Principle #6: THINK OF OTHERS AS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOURSELF.
Let me ask you right out the shoot – is this the way most people usually think? Is that the way even you usually think? It's very difficult not to think of ourselves as the most important human beings in the universe. In fact sometimes we even think of ourselves as being even more important than God.
We struggle with that. Jesus said, Here's this principle of how you can think of others as more important than yourself and it changes everything about your relationships. Let me be very clear from the very beginning. He's not saying to think of yourself as less important. He's saying to think of others as more important. Do you see the difference?
You should see yourself as valuable, incredibly valuable in God's sight. If you see yourself as valuable and you think of others as more important that yourself, then the more valuable you see yourself in God's sight, what does that do to others who you're seeing as more important? It even increases their value. So this isn't about devaluing yourself. It’s about valuing others and what God wants to do through their lives.
How do you think of others as more important? And how do you act to live out this principle? Philippians 2:3-5 is one of those great passages in the Bible where it gives us an insight into the character of Jesus Christ. “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”
Folks, there are in these verses two attitudes that are guaranteed to kill any relationship. You bring these attitudes into any marriage, any father son, father daughter relationship, any relationship a mom has with her kids, any friendship; these two attitudes will kill a relationship.
1. Selfish ambition. That's when you're always asking the question, "What will I get?" What am I going to get out of this relationship? When it's all just "What will I get," it doesn't work. It kills any relationship.
2. Vain conceit. This is not "What will I get?" but "How will I look?" Have you ever known anybody who wears relationships like flashy gold bracelet? A trophy wife or a trophy husband. They have that person that's on their arm and they just want everybody to see who they have. How do I look and how does this person I'm with make me look?
These two attitudes are not the kind of attitudes that Jesus had. He didn't mind who He hung around with. He didn't mind giving to everyone that He met. I was thinking this week, what if the good Samaritan had had these two attitudes? He’s walking down the road and sees the guy who's sick at the side and says, "Well, if I go and help that guy, what am I going to get out of it?
Maybe he's rich. Maybe he'll give me some money back. If I go and help that guy how's it going to make me look?" Did he think, "Maybe it'll get me in the Bible someday if I go and help this guy?" It's a story that Jesus told and in that story he didn't care what he'd get out of it. He didn't care how he would look. He just helped somebody else. He just considered somebody else more important than himself.
Jesus' definition of humility is key here. Jesus' definition of humility is not that you consider yourself as worse than others. But it's to consider others better than yourself. I know many, many people who struggle with that. When it comes to this thing of relationships and what will I get and how will I look, one of the reasons we struggle with it is we haven't discovered what true
humility is.
We've been taught – maybe even in church – or we picked up from somebody, somehow that it is this thing of thinking less of myself. And we think so much less of ourselves that we are constantly concerned with What am I going to get? and How am I going to look? We’ve got to settle this humility thing if we're going to have great relationships.
Humility is not thinking less of myself; it is thinking more of others. Humility is being honest about both my strengths and my weaknesses. Humility is seeing that without Christ, I can do nothing but in Christ I can do all things. We can start to think like others are more important. That gives you the freedom to think as if others are more important.
I love you guys. Stay faithful. Stay the course. ENDURE!
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